Day 32………………… An Orphan Never More

Yesterday was court!

It was a beautiful day, sunny and warm. We all waited outside for about ½ hour… mindless chatter and individual thoughts of what the court appearance would bring. Present were the three American families and four Ukrainian families…. All to appear at 9:30 for what seemed to be a long day. No real appointment time…. We figured the Ukrainians would go first, so we brought books, knitting, crocheting, cards and snacks to help us pass the time…

We all headed in and were corralled in a 16x20 room. Dingy white walls and a Ukrainian flag, hung crooked on the head wall. The back of the room was filled with wooden church benches, a table at the front with an old decrepit high back chair (funny to me that even in this old worn-out building, hierarchy is ever present)…. side tables for the various witnesses, court staff and prosecutor. The room also was equipped with a small jail cell, white metal bars, a rust covered bench and old padlock. An eerie indicator of why most Ukrainians comply with the law.

We were called first! Everyone else left the room and the honorable judge and staff entered. Angella was told to leave our bench and sit with Lubov, the Orphanage Director, in the bench behind us. We were told to stand. For a moment, I sort of felt like I was being interrogated but then Galya’s soft voice started translating next to me and immediately I felt a sense of calm……

It was very quick and seemed almost nonchalant. He asked us if we had the financial wherewithal to provide for her, if this was our first marriage and if I thought having never been a mother before, I would be a good mother. We answered with a lot of Da’s and Niet’s to keep things succinct and the to point. Next, he asked Angella to come to the front and stand before him. Lubov accompanied her…… she walked confidently to the front but was uncharacteristically timid and shy when she spoke. He asked her why she wanted to be adopted, what she thought of us, and what she would call us. He asked her if she knew where she was going and if she had seen it on the globe. He told her no one would speak her language there and wanted to know if she realized this.

And with that a few more sits and stands later, it was final!

I was asked to write her new name on a document that would be used by the court…..
Angella Shin Thomas
(the two “L’s” so that hopefully those in the States will pronounce it correctly, Shin is her Korean last name, and of course, Thomas, her new last name, one she is VERY proud of!

We were free to leave and wait out of next 10 days until our court decree is ready. Unfortunately, we found out that since “Woman’s Day” (the Ukrainian equivilant to our “Mother’s Day”, falls on March 8th, our decree won’t mature until March 12th. So we now know we will not make our flight on March 15th and are hoping for the following Thursday, March 20th.

It was disappointing but then it dawned on me that our first day home with Angella will be the anniversary of our first date, the first day of Spring and now, her first full day in America! So, with that, we will somehow find patience & strength and practice positive thinking until we are able to start the journey home.

Later that day, we all met at McDonald’s (Len thought that would be a fun and ironic way of celebrating the day) and then went back to our place for cake and ice cream.
There was laughter and light hearted chatter flowing from our windows….. (wide open to due to the mild weather we are enjoying) I remember thinking once during the evening….. In a country where celebration and frivolity is rare, I am sure we had passerby’s wondering what all the excitement was about.

I know Angella went to bed last night with peace in her heart. Probably her first night…
knowing that she had a family that loved her, that would care for her and would offer her happiness that she would have not known otherwise. For this, we are thankful.

Day 27………… A Walk in the Park and Important Conversations.

Another beautiful day here….. we took a long walk and bought another bunch of magnificent flowers for our living room….. We also stumbled across one the largest and best produce & fruit markets I have ever seen….. NOW we know where to shop! And it’s right in our back yard!

Our visit today was really nice….. Per Galya’s suggestion, we took a long walk to a park up on a hill near the orphanage. We enjoyed an incredible sunset at the top….. Galya translated the entire way…. (we’re really going to miss her!) Angela was full of questions for us – it was a nice role reversal! She asked us about previous marriages, how we met and how long we have known each other, among other curious and insightful questions for an 11 year old…… We talked about our upcoming court appointment. We wanted to her to be prepared for potential questions that the judge might ask…. Things like, “Why do you want to be adopted?”, “Do you realize that you are going to a foreign land where no one will speak your language?”, “How do you feel about your future parents?”……. She had great answers and is excited about meeting the judge!

So, we’re ready!

That brings me to “The Process” as many of you have asked in your email communications…... (Thanks by the way! It’s so nice to hear from you!) Beyond arduous and outlandishly ridiculously long, we are beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel. Our court date is this Thursday, Feb. 28!!! After court, there is a 10-day waiting period. Don’t ask! Then we get the court decree and with that paper can ceremoniously pick Angela up from the orphanage for the last time and she can say her good-byes. That same day, we apply for her new social security number, which we just learned, is not a one-hour process like we thought, but now a 24-hour process. Again, don’t ask! The next day we apply for her Ukrainian passport, which between Sevastopol and Kiev can take anywhere from 2 – 10 days….. We’re trusting Galya’s skills and contacts both here & in Kiev and believe it will be 2 days!!! Then we fly to Kiev. Where we go to the US Embassy (yeah!) and apply for her visa and get her mandatory medical exam. 1–2 days for this process and then, FINALLY, we get to board our 12 hour flight to NYNY and land on American soil, where she will be finally considered a US Citizen. (this simplified version gives you a pretty good idea)

Please say a prayer that all paperwork will be processed expediently and efficiently so that we can make our pre-arranged flights on March 15th. It’s a long shot but we’re holding out hope! We cannot wait to get home!

Day 26......... Monday was "Fun Day"

First, I want to share a little insight on why we needed to talk with Angela about Ray’s dog, MoJo! It really has little to do with MoJo and more about the dogs here in Ukraine. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before….. dogs run in packs here like wolves. Seriously, 4-5 on each corner…… and the stray cats are like squirrels in America. It’s the most bizarre thing I have ever seen….. I have a whole new respect for the SPCA and our rules to keep our dogs on leashes….. As most of you know, my “Kallie Girl” was quite the watch dog and I had to constantly watch her with just about everyone! Angela understands that she needs to respect MoJo’s territory and rightly so!

Went for a long walk today….. needed some air and sunshine….. Beautiful shots of the harbour for your enjoyment.... notice all the Russian naval and cargo ships. Headed to the Desky Dohm for our daily visit. Took our assortment of sidewalk chalk brought from home that amazingly made the trip with no breakage! It was a lot of fun!!! We decorated the entrance and sidewalk within the grounds…. Afterwards, Yanna and I played hopscotch while some of the boys and Angela rode bikes. I can’t tell you how many years it’s been since I have played hopscotch….. guess I’d better get used to it! Dinner with Chad and Wendy and Sergei - was nice to be out after dark!!!

We took a new card game today – “Go Fish”. I know, not so new…… the girls were familiar with how to play and even though it’s a bit amateurish for them. Angela asked if we would leave the deck until tomorrow….. it’s cute how the simplest of games entertains them so easily.

Day 25…….. The Beautiful Black Sea and a Russian Palace

Saturday
Happy

Birthday

Ronny!

Ahhhh….. 50 and sunny today! What a great day to take a little day trip. We taxied over to pick up “ you know who ”….. Back at the apartment, we made a big breakfast. Scrambled eggs, sautéed potatoes with red peppers and onions, toast and fresh fruit. Galya and Kostia picked us up at 11:30, our destination a palace just outside the town of Yalta. In the car, Angela told us, through Galya, that she had never had eggs or potatoes that way. She liked it a lot!!! (We could tell. She had two helpings of potatoes and ate everything else off of her plate as well)

The drive to Yalta was so beautiful. The black sea was shimmering so nicely with the mid-day sun upon it. The Crimean Mountains had just a touch of snow…… Vineyards and Cypress trees abound…… The views were breathtaking. It was so nice to get out into the fresh air…. The palace was built in 1839 and was home to Russian royalty……. The gardens were magnificent! Very Mediterranean! Afterwards, we stopped at an outdoor café and had a scrumptious snack and hot tea. Angela asked if she could take all of the untouched goodies back to the girls in her group. And the “leavings” to their two house-dogs, Rex and Bilka. She is very thoughtful that way!

Sunday, Day 26……….. Appetite for Food and Fun!

Another beautiful day…… Finally it’s starting to feel like vacation! Kidding of course….. I was actually feeling a little homesick today…. Not sure if it’s really homesickness or this stinking cold but fortunately, being around Angela will make anyone smile…. She really has a delightful spirit. I can’t figure out how she has survived this atmosphere with such lightheartedness, positive energy and a sense of humor. She smiles all of the time! And that is a rare treat here….. no one here seems to be very happy….. Anyway, she certainly has a way of making us laugh. And she has this little giggle that well, it’s simply endearing…. We catch ourselves making fun of her, which only makes her giggle even more…. :)

Len offered her a yogurt and banana this AM. She gobbled them both up like there was no tomorrow! I am so glad she likes yogurt! The only thing I can stomach in the early AM. She did a little crafty project we had brought from home while we made lunch. Egg salad sandwiches and vegetable soup. Clean plate club without coercion. (and that was after two sandwiches!)

Finally we got to watch the Mermaid cartoon we purchased last weekend. She was disappointed that our “new” DVD (thanks to Galya and Kostia) would only play it in English. But she took it in stride and watched intently. It was actually well done and we enjoyed it too. (we decided to surprise her once home with the “next in the series” – our DVD will play Russian)

We headed out to do a little shopping and our neighborhood market – a site to be seen. Everything from fresh fish to nail polish to slippers…… We were searching for something special for Babushka Florence and Babushka Norma for the “first meeting”….

Note: Friday night after Galya and Kostia delivered the new DVD player, we made popcorn and watched a double feature….. (thanks to Sheri and Mark’s DVD collection!) It was SO nice to finally get our minds off of everything. :-)

Day 23, 24 and 25……….. Fun & Games and a Few Rules for Good Measure!

It’s been a quiet couple of days…. We did find out that our court date is set for Feb. 28th. No chance of moving it up. So today we called the US Embassy to see if they can expedite Angela’s visa processing….. no problem. They will do it in one day in hopes we can make our flight on March 15th. Nice that some beurocratic offices seem to have a sense of sensitivity and concern……. So now we wait and try to practice patience.

Wednesday
We delivered a bunch of goodies to Angela's group…. Undies, socks, tights and gloves….. The girls were thrilled! We had a very nice conversation with Angela’s primary caretaker. She shared with us insights to Angela’s personality and offered advice. Ukraine, in general, is a very disciplined country, add the orphanage setting to that, and well, she is used to a structured environment. It is suggested that we maintain this as best we can, as it is what she’s used to. She also mentioned that last year, Angela shared with her that she was hoping to be an only child in a family. Well, since Len’s boys are living on their own now, she has the best of all worlds’…… wonderful big brothers but undivided attention at home! We talked about how difficult it must be for Mama Irena (now we know her first name!) when these girls leave….. Tears filled her eyes as she commented, “they all go so far away”….. Even in the happiness that surrounds this time, we know she is filled with sadness too. Later that day, we talked with Angela about this. She said she too, will be very sad to leave Mama Irena but that she is ready and that she wants to have a family.

Thursday
We came back to our apartment and talked with Angela about our upcoming timeline and a little bit of what to expect once we get home….. a few ground rules were discussed…. (1) To treat everyone and everything with Respect. (we checked to make sure she knew this word) If she does this, she will do fine in our home…… (2) Never going outside without telling us first (thanks Nancy!) (3) And that even though our next-door neighbor Ray is a really nice man, she can’t go in his yard – EVER! He has a guard dog that would not take kindly to this. She was able to recite the rules back later with no problem…… and indicated that these were easy rules she could follow….. We hope we’re off to a good start! We taught her to play Yatzee…. one of cousin Natalie and Casey’s favorite games. That would have been next to impossible without a translator! Then we finished the puzzle! She really got into it towards the end!

Friday
Len and Galya are taking Angela out and about to get a few things and for cappuccino and cake (it amazes us that the young girls here drink such sophisticated drinks) Mama is nursing a sore throat and cold and doesn’t want to expose her. So a little quiet time alone at home……. Not a bad way to spend a couple of hours. Len has the camera so can't post any photos today.

Til tomorrow........ thanks for blogging with us!

Day 21 and 22………………. Reflection and Introspection

Monday
We decided to tap into electronic media to find out what’s going on in the world around us…. obvious we can't read anything here..... The isolation is starting to get to us. It appears the flu is closing schools left and right in Sevastopol – the school where the orphans go will be closed all week. Due to this, the orphanage doctor requested that we not visit if we even had a sniffle. You can imagine 100 kids, under one roof, with the flu. So we didn’t visit yesterday. Len had a sore throat and we felt we needed to respect her wish.

Tuesday
It rained all day and we stayed indoors until our 3:45 taxi arrived. (a 5-mile one-way ride to the orphanage is $3.50 US dollars….. Hardly enough for them to put gas in their car. Len of course, always tips nicely. Angela was very happy to see us and the visit went quickly…. Time spent painting and knitting in the library, a dance rehearsal with a lot of the kids for an upcoming performance and then of course, I Spy!

We left at 6:00 and made a scrumptious meal of frozen veggies and rice. Yum! We are sticking to the rule faithfully “peel it, boil it, cook it or forget it”. Needless to say, a green leaf salad, (or anything fresh and cold for that matter) with blue cheese crumbles, dried blueberries, walnuts and homemade vinaigrette dressing makes my mouth water! We make our ice cubes with bottled water as not even the locals drink the water here…. Needless to say, brushing teeth with a glass of bottled water and closed mouth showering is the norm. So far, we’ve steered clear of any upset stomach issues…… Our apartment is very comfortable and aside from the frequent power outages and issues with our DVD not reading our movies, we couldn’t be happier. (we’re hoping to seek and purchase a DVD player tomorrow and will donate it to the orphanage when we leave) Yatzee, journaling, and getting my ____ kicked in gin rummy are getting very old. :) Zoning out to an English speaking comedy is exactly what we need!

All in all, our time here together has been great. We’re still enjoying each other’s company :-) and taking time to reflect on the quality of life we enjoy at home in the good ole USA. We often think and talk about the friends and family that bring us great comfort….. We really appreciate your emails and comments on our blog!

The poverty here is overwhelmingly sad at times. It certainly helps you understand why so many of these children are where they are…… The mismatched outfits, the clothing that either barely fits or is two sizes too big, the worn out conditions and the longing in their eyes…… can really get to you…… We’re trying to “take it all in” but honestly, it’s almost like you have to approach it with some distance….. Otherwise, I know I would crack within the orphanage walls and that certainly wouldn’t do anyone any good.

For many of them it’s hopeless. At age 16 they are no longer eligible for adoption. And life after 17, 18 if they are lucky, is well, just that, hopeless. The younger ones still do have hope, but you can tell that they are yearning for parents and a family, someone to simply read to them or spend time with them doing just about anything….. Basic things that a lot of kids, kids with families, as they should, take for granted. They are used to seeing “potential parents” roaming around….. The little ones are conditioned to act cute or smile brightly….. It’s heart breaking…… You just have to believe that their day will come and their “forever family” will find them….. After all, each child brought into this world deserves this.

It’s not that we aren’t “enjoying” our time here….. “Enjoy”, however, isn’t how I would describe it. It’s more a patience for the process and a need to understand the culture and then honestly, our desire to simply get on the first plane heading to NYNY and take Angela home. I’ve uploaded a couple photos from the past few days. The entrance to the orphanage, and, per Len, a large Cedar of Lebanon (a rare evergreen that from it’s massive timbers Solomon’s temple was constructed – for those interested in a little biblical anecdote)…. Also a couple photos of our “little peanut”, as she is fondly referred to, striking a pose for Papa! She is a real ham for the camera!

After all, she is why we’re here and she makes it all worthwhile. Till tomorrow……..

Day 20………Sunday - Quiet Comforts of “Home”

Happy Birthday IAN!!!

Our coldest day In Ukraine so far….. We successfully arranged our own taxi – a major feeling of independence!!! and arrived at the orphanage to pick Angela up at 11:00 sharp. We started working on a puzzle brought from home…… our little Angel seems to have a short attention span and opted to work on watercolor paintings for Babushka Norma and Babushka Florence and Dedushka Marv. (beautiful, creative and very well done!) Mama finally coerced her to help a little with the puzzle after preparing similar colored pieces on a smaller piece of cardboard. Once again, her competitive nature came shining though!

We decided to rent a DVD and spend some quiet time together. Unfortunately, the movies we brought from home don’t play on the apartment DVD or our laptop for some reason. (It only reads Russian DVD’s…… another sign that big brother is still watching!) :) We walked to the store and successfully purchased for next weekend’s viewing, much to Papa’s dismay, a Barbie Mermaid movie, and rented Willie Wonka (Johnny Depp version). Angela laughed out loud numerous times and although we couldn’t understand what was being said, we knew the moral of the story was good and were thrilled to see that she could sit still for 2 hours and be entertained!

It was a tear filled good-bye for Mama today…… Not sure if it was knowing that I would miss my little one or the sweetness in Mama Nikolya’s eyes when we returned to the orphanage. (it’s obvious that Mama Nikolya will miss this little girl when she leaves for America….. they share a bond that is very unique in this setting….. she is clearly a large part of the reason that Angela is the sweet and sensitive child she is….. again we feel blessed!) I thought I translated that Angela was asking Mama Nikolya why “Mama” was crying…… her answer could not be understood but something told me that it was one “Mama” explaining to this little girl that her “new Mama” would miss her until we were together again tomorrow!

Day 18 and 19……………………….. Sevastopolitan Saturday! Strikes, Spares, Slippers and Splits!

Computer problems seem to be as common as lack of power and heat. We’re connected again, but unable to upload photos until Monday……

So many of you have commented on our natural and eased appearance……. We really feel fortunate that the bond has been strong and gets more relaxed each day. We’re not sure if it’s us or the fact that she is so hungry for a family….. either way, it’s great and we feel blessed. Angela does know quite a vocabulary of English words, so with that, sign language, jesters and our Russian/English dictionary we’re getting along quite well. We’re obviously spoiled when we have Galya with us, but the times when it’s just the three of us are preparing us for our journey home and so far we handle it with laughter and continued attempts until we figure out what we’re trying to say……

Today we went bowling with Wendy, Chad, Sergie and their daughter Katya. (Andrei wasn’t able to come along). It was great fun! (picture to follow) She asked for a “Coca Cola” when bowling, and Mama told her, through Sergie, that this would be the only one for the day, so she could have it now or later. She opted for juice. :) At lunch, Papa bought her water….. a choice was not offered. She drank it agreeably and we later put an “A” on the lid and told her it was her bottle that we’d have with us all of the time….

We headed back to the apartment after stopping to buy Angela a pair of slippers (it’s amazing how cold your feet get here) and a DVD. We watched the movie and made “popcorn”. She had never had popcorn and she LOVED it! Yeah, finally a healthy snack!!! We put on some funky music and danced… she showed us how she can do the “splits” and she did a Whirling Durbish, (Ukrainian folk dance) similar to that seen on “dancing with the stars”….. !!!

Later she asked for her water bottle --- another good sign that she is learning the ropes! :)

Day 17…………………… Finally a court date!!!!

Busy, Busy Day…. Angela was out of school today for some reason – we’ve learned not to ask! So after a morning appointment with the notary, we picked her up. Enjoyed lunch along the harbour and headed to the court house to present our papers and plead for an early date….. Nyet (no) pleading was allowed and our date as expected, was set for Feb. 28th. We were told however, that the judge may be leaving on a business trip and if so, our date will be moved up….. again, don’t ask just pray for a week or so earlier…….

Photos of the court house attached – seriously! Even Angela commented that the place was "shabby"!

So, now we wait and continue our visits and our quiet (powerless) nights at home…… last night for the third time, we lost power. The Babushka's in the building think the "stupid Americanits" is responsible.... Our heat has been turned down to about nothing.... Galya said must be some governmental rationing going on - they don't control our own heat in Ukraine!

Once Galya left, we played I Spy, her new favorite game. You can see from the piles on the table above.... she always wins!!! And then knitted for a while. She’s really getting the hang of it! She may not need knitting class but will come along with "mama".... One the way back to the Desky Dohm, Angela confirmed that Mama has officially elevated from Princess status to Queen. Papa is King and she is Princess. Zach, Ian and Eric are Prince! :)

Day 15 and 16………………… Never a Dull Moment

We’ve had a little hiccup and due to some unfortunate circumstances and have changed our facilitator. Galya will be representing us here in Sevastopol and yet another facilitator when we get back to Kiev for the final stages……. It’s been a rough couple of days and is a long story that is not worth spending time writing about.

Tomorrow we will go to the court to find out our court date… we’re hoping for mid-February but are prepared for late February, as that is when the other families that are here are scheduled… Keep your fingers crossed that the judge is in a good mood!

We finally got out and did a little site seeing – it was cold but crisp and clear today. Photos of Sevastopol for your enjoyment!

Today was a fun day at the orphanage….. we took some unique toys from our neighborhood toy store, Toko Baru… Growing capsules that turn into dinosaurs and seashells that grow 4 times their size. The girls loved them!!! We spent time playing “I Spy” (thanks Tammy and Tom!). A new game to the group. Angela won!!! 13 to 7 (Galya) 6 (Papa) 5 (Mama). Her memory skills are great!

We also went next door to Angela’s school and took pictures for her memory book. It was great to see…. She had the janitor unlock her classroom door (again, this child seems to know everyone :) and showed us her desk. Front row in front of the teacher’s desk…. Papa was so proud!

Our friend Gail told us that when she was here in September, Angela told her she had a “big brain”…. Papa asked her if she had a big brain today and she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know, I’ve never seen it!” Thought you would all get a chuckle from that – we did!

Day 14………………….. Lessons

Today upon arriving at the orphanage we were immediately whisked into the Orphanage Physician’s office to discuss the results of some medical tests that were run last week. After our meeting, we went to visit with Angela. We were deeply moved as we found her curled up in a chair by the window sobbing………. When we asked her why she was crying, she explained that she didn’t think we were coming back to see her……. It was only then that we fully realized the very fragile state she lives in……………….

Through many tears, hugs and translation we explained that we were very very sorry. That we had to meet with the doctor, but we now realize that we shouldn’t have left her suspended. It was heartbreaking to see her in this condition and realize that we, the two people that love her the most in the world, had caused her this pain.

The innocence and sweetness of this little girl offered immediate forgiveness and we were able to visit for a while……… Today we learned one of many valuable lessons in this journey of international adoption.

Day 13………………. Breaking Bread……. AND pizza, coke, Pringles and chocolate!

We can’t believe a week has gone by…… just to think last Sunday was our first meeting and now we feel so close and connected to this child that will soon be ours……… We feel truly blessed.

Today started off attending church with our good friends, Galya and Kostia. The service was, of course, in Russian…. Galya offered translation periodically. The music was fabulous and the peace that filled the small space was comforting…..

We were thrilled when we arrived at the orphanage at 12:20 when Mama Nikolya pointed at 6:00 pm not 4:00 pm for our time to bring Angela back. So we had the whole afternoon! We decided to go out for pizza today and learned that our “little picky eater” doesn’t like mushrooms, black olives or corn (a common topping for pizza in Ukraine). She does however, like egg salad (an odd accompaniment, but what she wanted) and coca cola! (surprise, surprise).

We stopped at the main Russian Orthodox Cathedral, lit candles and said individual prayers. Ducked into a small bookstore and bought her an English/Russian workbook and Harry Potter, all 637 pages!, (in Russian) for the plane ride home!

Back at the apartment, we painted her little nails, helped her start knitting a scarf (she picked it up amazingly quickly) ate ice cream (the best we’ve ever had) and watched cartoons.

That evening we talked about the day….. we decided that we best curtail the “treats” as we don’t want her to think, McDonalds, ice cream, Coca Cola, pizza and Pringles is the way of life in our home……. Next weekend we’ll suggest, veggies, fruit and water as the beverage of choice…..

Wish us luck and keep your fingers crossed that she doesn’t wish for new parents! :)

Day 12…………………. First Day on Our Own!

Kostia was prompt, as usual... 9:40 we headed to the Desky Dom to pick Angela up. She was eagerly awaiting our arrival. Back at the apartment, she saw Pam’s watercolors and asked, in a non-translator accompanied method of communication, “pointing and gesturing,” if she could paint. Len made hot chocolate and toast with Nutella (yum!) and the day began. Using our Russian/English dictionary we talked about going out for lunch and offered the option of “pizza” or McDonalds. Much to Mama’s chagrin, we headed to the golden arches……..

After lunch we walked to a nearby park that was filled with what appeared to be rides and amusements from the 50’s. Just as Len and Pam were getting a great laugh at the miniature horses that were humiliatingly dressed in some Ukrainian folk garb. (one had an equine sense that even the horses themselves were embarrassed……. ) If being a dwarf horse wasn’t bad enough, they had to garnish the poor beast in peasant paraphernalia including, doilies and flowers……. An animal rights activist would have been appalled…. we, of course, were amused…. For some bizarre reason, Angela asked if we would take her picture atop the mutantly miniature steed……. $3 grivna later, she puts one leg in the stirrup and the other over the saddle….. even she realized the embarrassment to herself and the horse!! (an account of this event taken directly from Len’s journal)

Kostia and Galya picked us up and we headed 30 mins south to Balakavia, an ancient 2500 year old, Greek city on the coast of the Black Sea. Breathtaking, Relaxing and Beautiful……..

Before turning in for the evening, we decided to walk to our local market and get a few things we needed to fill our cupboards……. $22 US dollars later ($111 grivna) we had purchased: two tubes of Ukrainian ice cream, (thanks Margaret!), 10 eggs, ½ lb wedge of delicious butter cheese, a large juice, 2 bags of crackers, salad dressing, one can of Pringles, a large chocolate bar, 4 bottles of Stella Artoise (we need a few indulgences), can of peanuts, can of olives stuffed with mandarins, 2 packs of napkins, and two packs of gum…….. How's that for bargain shopping???

Day 11……….......… Our Afternoon Outing and Daily Visit

The omnipresent gray skies and gray colored buildings was starting to get to us…… we decided to take another hike to see if we could find the flower market we had seen a few days back when we were in the car with Victor……. So after lunch (found a great little pizza place where we successfully ordered a cheese pizza with mushrooms and olives and two beers) we headed toward the hill….. ahhhhhhh….. the flowers were amazing. After much consideration and “stopping to smell the roses” we selected, Asiatic lilies, roses, tulips, freesia and iris (our favorite). Some for us and some for the girl’s room at the orphanage. And one individual rose for you know who!

They children had prepared a little performance for us. It was the first time we had seen the “boys” from the other part of the building…… Angela with a group of her “sisters” sang a sweet song while their music teacher played piano. Afterwards we went to the library to practice reading and played, of course, Uno!

We asked her what sorts of things she would like to do once in America. (suggesting soccer, piano and tennis) She asked if she could take Tai Kwon Do and Kick Boxing!!! We couldn’t stop laughing! Remember she doesn’t consider herself Asian! We shared with her some of our hobbies….. Papa likes to golf and Mama likes to cook. Pam told her that she wanted to her to be “open minded” and try new foods more than once when she is home. Pam mentioned that she is vegetarian but that she cooks many things. Angela said she is vegetarian too. She only eats chicken and sausage!!! :)

Beginning to Day 11……………..

Dear Everyone,
The world is made of so many doors…. those which will forever remain closed, and those of which we open to greet the unexpected.
We have crossed a threshold, and entered a space that is so incredibly evocative, that we are daily brought to tears of joy and sadness…..this is a journey, that in our wildest imagination, we would never have been able to accurately predict.
Your words of support comfort us, and offer companionship over 5000 miles from home…
We love you all and appreciate your accompaniment on this life-changing journey.
Our lives have been enriched in ways that words will never describe.
With much gratitude, love, and peace we remain eternally connected and committed.

Len


Hello All,

Funny…… after reading aloud an email from Nana, Len and I, in different rooms of our apartment, were at the same time penning a note to all of you.

I just wanted to start the day with a little thank you. We can’t tell you how much your “comments” and following along mean to us. We have been touched by your comments and know that we have your love and support with each step along the way…

We also wanted to thank our facilitator, Galya and Gail, who introduced us to Angela, for their amazing service and mentoring! We couldn’t have done any of this without you! We’ve not mentioned in our daily blog some of the hiccups that we’ve encountered… some things are not meant to be shared and the bureaucratic process, which is sometimes nearly unbearable, would probably have turned away our readers! :) Our support team, here in Ukraine and the States (San Francisco), prove that time and distance can be overcome.

Well as most of you slumber, we begin our day… Cannot wait for 4:00 to roll around so we can see our “little one”!

Love, Pam

Day 10....... Slow and Easy

Today felt like a day off! We relaxed at the apartment……… no appointments, papers to sign, errands to run (we made our daily stop at the market for water and bread yesterday). Galya and Kostia were here promptly at 3:30 for our daily ride to the orphanage. We gave them a few little gifts that we brought for them and for their adorable 2 ½ year old, Maya. Galya, among many other entrepreneurial skills, is a volunteer for Life To Orphans (http://www.lifetoorphans.org/) and is an amazing advocate for this orphans here in Sevastopol and the surrounding area.

Our visit with Angela today was relaxed and fun. We talked again about the upcoming court appearance (we don’t have a date yet but hope to have it next week) and the fact that we need to finalize the selection of her middle name. Angela _______ Thomas! We’re hoping to have “Sin” (her Korean last name) be her new middle name. We told her about the research we had done and that the name Sin, also spelled and pronounced “Shin”, which we prefer, has strong historical ties to Korean history…… Many other Shins, have been poets, artists, Buddhist monks, historians, and most importantly the General who founded a large province in South Korea, a name she can be very proud of. She nodded, and then asked if we had already signed the paperwork….. We laughed and told her of course not. A name is a very important thing and a decision we want her to be a part of. We decided to let her think about it and discuss it again another day. We took a map with us today to show her where Korea was…… She wasn’t familiar and doesn’t seem to consider herself Asian at all…. We find this curious but understandable.

The rest of our time was spent with all of the girls playing Uno, doing cartwheels, snacking on cookies we had brought from the market and then reading a little at the end.

A quick meeting with Lubov, requesting permission to take Angela out both Saturday and Sunday. She said OK!!! We then asked for a list of items that might be needed such as toiletries etc….. We’d like to start bringing a little something with us each day that we know all the girls will benefit from.

Back at the apartment, Pam created a unique Ukrainian-Mex concoction….. Len, being easy to please and a “good eater” threw out one compliment after another….. We ended our dinner with talks of how the meal would have been perfect with our favorite TJ’s Lime Salsa and Flaxseed Chips and a little dollop of Len’s homemade guacamole. Ole! Len cleared the table and went to the freezer, pretending to grab a pint of Graeter’s vanilla ice cream.

Day 9 - Conversations.......

Finally, a slow morning..... we aren't really sleeping well and have been mentally and physically exhausted each evening when we return home. Olya and Clay (another couple adopting two brothers) left to head back to the states. Their court date is Feb. 28 and they have a little one at home. So they dropped their luggage off at our place to lighten their load.....

We went to the orphanage with our new translator (Galya) since Victor is now it Kiev. It's great having her with us as it enabled us to spend some time "talking" with Angela. We decided to head outside so we could have some quiet undisturbed time.

We asked Angela to give some thought to a new middle name as we will need that soon for our court date.... We talked about her time at the orphanage and her friends that have come and gone. She said she has liked being here and loves Mama Nikolya very much. We asked her what she thought America was going to be like and she shrugged her shoulders. She told us she thought that people in America are courteous, hard working and nice! We told her about our home, that it's quiet and peaceful and that she will be the only child there. She said that this was OK but wanted to know if she could have her friends over...... :)

We told her about our community, Clifton, her school and the friends she will make. She was happy to hear that she will have a Russian speaking instructor for her ESL classes. She said she loves school and wanted to know if she could do her homework every day. :) We told her that her cousin, Chelsea works at the after school program at the Montessori school that she will attend..... she was very excited to know that Chelsea would teach her new things and be there to spend time with her. We asked her what she thought of doing when she grows up and she said she dreams of being an artist.

We told her about our plans to go to St. Simon's this summer with Pam's cousin Joe, and his wife Christine. We showed her pictures of Casey and Natalie (their girls) who will also be with us. She couldn't stop smiling..... she told us of times at the beach with her Babushka here at Sevastopol.

She said she is glad she will have a cat and wanted to know if he could sleep in her bed. We went back inside as it was getting cold. She made of point of telling "mama" to dress warm this weekend when we go to the mountains as it will be cold. She told Galya she worries about me.....

Back inside we practiced reading..... She knows the English alphabet and eagerly jumps right in to read aloud.

It gets harder each day to leave but when Len asked her if she goes to sleep at night with a smile on her face, she quickly smiled, gave him a big hug and said "yes".

Connections....... Building a relationship

WOW! We've had a great two days...... Yesterday started off with a meeting with the Inspector. A formality to start the "regional" paperwork....... sorta like playing the game Clue (or clueless). ... you never know who you will have to meet with next. The process seems very convoluted but we keep telling ourselves that it's our lack of understanding the language that makes it all so confusing. Needless to say, Victor the "Determined", left today to take our paperwork back to Kiev. He was hoping to leave on Wednesday but leaving a day early is really good news..... Although we'd rather have him here with us we're thrilled he is jumping through all the hoops and making such great strides!

The meeting with the inspector was quick and simple. We basically smiled and said hello and goodbye. In between that, Victor and the inspector shared details of our case and it appeared some frustrations were expressed. Apparently some "signatures" are needed on our documents and the "Chief Inspector" is missing in action....... we'll leave that to Victor's capable hands to resolve....

We left there for our meeting with the Orphanage Director and staff (caregivers, pediatrician and social service director). This was our first visit inside the orphanage and needless to say, as much as you think you might be prepared, it's introduction is nothing one could realistically prepare for. The meeting lasted more than an hour. We were impressed by everyone's concern for Angela and her future.

We were able to visit with her and go along to a medical clinic where some tests were run. She was a trooper and was so brave........

We ended the day back at the orphanage where Angela showed off her singing, dancing and piano playing capabilities..... It was a treat!

Today was filled with "administrative tasks".... grocery shopping, internet connections in our apartment, a phone card and touring our neighborhood by foot. The day was 50 and sunny. Sevastopol is a large city (300,000) situated on hills that surround the harbor. The area is very historic and scenic.

We went back to the orphanage for the daily visiting hours of 4-6pm. Since Victor was not with us we went on our own..... surprisingly, communication is better than we expected. She dragged us through the entire place showing us the art room, the music room, the kitchen and the dining area and the then took us outside to play volleyball. Shoo..... we were exhausted! Angela is incredibly energetic, independent and confident (there doesn't seem to be a person that she doesn't know). We were laughing out loud as she marched across the basketball court amougst all of the older high school boys who were practicing, to find her coach, introduce us and retrieve a volleyball. "Mama" stunk, and Angela and "Papa" engaged in a healthy yet competitivly spirited game!!! Returning to the orphanage, we went to the music room to watch the kids rehearse for an upcoming dance performance.

We are amazed at the quality of order and instruction that accompanies the orphanage and their daily schedule. All staff appear competent and concerned for the well being of the children.
We ended the day with a phonics book and Angela sitting between us reading out loud.

At the apartment we broke open a bottle of $5.00 wine (we miss our $3 buck Chuck but he's got nothing on the wine selection here in Ukraine!!! :) and made grilled cheese sandwiches and potato wedges to celebrate the day!

Till tomorrow................

An Unexpected Meeting……….. A Day Early

Sunday, February 03, 2008

Our last day in Kiev was replete and fun-filled. With Len’s great navigation skills we found our way to the Opera House, St. Sophia’s and St. Michaels. We made our way back to souvenir alley and purchased a small oil painting from the wife of a Ukrainian artist. Had lunch (our first authentic meal – it was delicious! And ended our day at our familiar market for bread and water and a little something sweet.

The arrival at Simferpol was uneventful (thankfully). Pam is doing great flying without her “little white pill” trying to be alert and preparing to set a good example for “you know who”. It’s not really that bad, her mind is on other things… the fear of flying seems to have dissipated for now. The 1-½ hour drive through the rural countryside of Ukraine saddened and provided perspective, as the impoverished conditions were everywhere. It’s amazing what the human spirit can endure…

On our way into Sevastopol, Pam asked Viktor if a drive by the orphanage would be OK and not out of the way… Figuring “seeing” the building would help make tomorrow’s visit less stressful. As we pulled up, another family, Wendy and Chad, from Tennessee, were preparing to leave with their soon to be adopted children, Katya (14) and her brother Andrei (17) to the zoo…… It was nice to finally meet Wendy, as she and Pam became fast friends via email when Gail introduced that we would be traveling at the same time. We visited for 15 minutes or so and then Katya disappeared inside. Next Viktor followed.

He returned saying that they had called the Orphanage Director, Lubov, to ask for permission for us to see Angela. Right here, right now!!! We were shocked and filled with intense excitement. Lubov said she would make this exception but only for 10 minutes and only outside. It was sunny and 45….. an outdoor meeting would obviously have been our preference anyway!

Next thing we knew, appearing through the trees, was our little Angela!

Carrying the birthday card we had made for her, wearing a pink parka that fell below her knees, blue jeans with embellishments & jewels at the cuffs and blue and pink tattered sneakers…… She was absolutely adorable! Pam and Angela slowly made their way to one another and with a simple embrace the connection was made. It seemed as if time had stopped and no one was there but the two of us….. A second later, the three of us were embracing as Len, of course, had been by her side the entire time.

A gentle spirit, tiny, precious, and noticeably sweet, we knew instantly everything was going to be all right. It was amazingly casual and strangely comfortable. She bounced between Pam and Len and Mama Nikolya, her primary caretaker, offering and receiving hugs of reassurance. Our time with her felt natural, peaceful and calm.

We respected our ten-minute allowance and said our goodbyes….. For tomorrow was will visit and play!

Still in Kiev

Happy Birthday Teri!

Hello all - We were unable to get a flight out of Kiev for today so we are spending one more day here and will leave Sunday AM for Sevastopol.... It's actually fine with us because we really wanted another day to explore this incredible city! We can't go to the orphanage until Monday anyway....... that will be a great post!!!

We've not had the pleasure of eating out yet. We bought some food the first day and have been enjoying quiet dinners at our apartment. It's been fun cooking together in our tiny kitchen and being creative with the few things we purchased. (and yes, I am glad I brought my spices from home :) Our Russian is improving and we feel like we will be ready to converse a little with Angela in her language. Len has been dedicated to writing in our journal (thank you Becky!) daily.... our book is in process!! :) Pam has been knitting while he writes and, of course, keeps the music, incense and candles going! We're really enjoying our time.
We're going to explore the Opera House today (thanks to Eric's post) and a few more cathedrals - they are really spectacular! It's another sunny day here and the weather has been much warmer than we expected. (35 degrees plus) We'll upload pictures from Sevastopol......

We hear Becker is eating well and that all is in order at the home front! Thanks Megan and Jamie.

We'll try to post again tomorrow once we get settled if not, Monday after we meet our
"little one".

Love, Pam and Len

SDA Appointment

Hello Again! What a great day! Woke up to sunshine and an optimistic outlook. Our appointment went great. Our facilitator could not go in with us but there was a translator from the SDA that communicated between us and the psychologist. Both women were very nice and pleased to hear our attempts at Russian!! :) The meeting lasted no more than ten minutes. They asked how we knew of Angela and were very happy to hear about the photos we had sent her and the letters she had written us. She indicate that this would make things much easier for Angela. They said they would do their best to process the papers today so we could head to the region. That was that. Once outside, we went inside St. Andrews cathedral, an 18th Century Italian Renaissance design. It's a very old community filled with vendors and artists. Victor confirmed that the paperwork would be ready later today. So we'll buy our tickets and head to Sevastopol tomorrow morning!!! 1 1/2 hour plane ride and 1 1/2 hour drive from Simferpol and then we'll be able to get settled for our extended stay. Thanks so much for your comments - we love hearing from you!!! Love Pam and Len